The humor of Futurama is very unique and, unlike previous blogs, dividing quotes by topic was not so easy, so this time the division is very arbitrary. Here is my selection of inimitable space humor from Fry, Bender and Co.

> There will be no progress in society until we learn to pretend to love each other.

> Every decision we make opens up a whole universe of possibilities! We are intelligent creatures, and every choice we make is priceless!

> A wise man once said that nothing really dies, but simply comes back in a different form, then he died. So the next time you come across a harmless salamander, think twice before you trample it, it could be you.

> I combined the DNA of all the evil animals of the World to create the most cruel… It turned out to be MAN!

> A man cannot be changed, just as the laws of time and space cannot be changed.

> Civilization arose solely from the desire to surprise the opposite sex.

> The Universe is in each of us..

>All life depends on the toss of a coin.

>When you do the right thing, people start to think that everything will work out on its own.

>Knowledge brings fear.

>Love cannot be shared with the whole world! Love is suspicious, poor, fearful, it… it’s greedy!

>There is no great love without great jealousy!

> As soon as something good happens to me, you say that I’m crazy, or I’m drunk, or I ate too much sweets..

>You can’t ban me just because I’m a bad role model.

> Bigfoot is my hero! As a child, I associated myself with him because he is a loner and hates popular monsters, although he is the same.

> I was struck down by a serious illness – I don’t give a damn!

>Tell my children that I loved myself… very, very much.

> Call me old-fashioned, but I love romance in an orgy.

>I don’t like to party! I just got a pain in the ass that I didn’t ask for.

> Never bet against my stupidity!

> You can put away your checkbook, I have something better – friends, and they didn’t cost me anything.

>She liked me because I’m a pig. And she tells me because she is a female.

>You know what cheers me up? Mocking others’ failures.

>I won not because I’m cool, but because I’m popular? Hurray, I’m popular!

>Why am I naked and sticky? Did I miss something?

>They say madness runs in our family. Some even think I’m crazy. And why? Because I dream of creating a race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal bodies that will suck blood.

> You and I are all idiots, this is my philosophy.

> Scalpel, blood bucket, priest, next.

>Hands fell off! I can’t draw.

> Valentine’s Day? Oh damn, I forgot to get a girlfriend again!

> All I do is exist!

>I’m so ashamed… I want everyone to die.

>I’m a pro at not gamesnotongamstop.co.uk giving a damn! The secret is simple: give up on everything from a high bell tower, and think about what you need, what you deserve, what the world owes you. That’s the whole secret!

> It’s not television that spoils children. Give High School Credit.

> If I didn’t think ahead, I wouldn’t be an emperor, I wouldn’t be in the year 3000. As in the fable about the grasshopper and the octopus: All year the grasshopper stored grass for the winter, and the octopus squeezed his girlfriend and looked at the box. Then winter came and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his supplies and bought a sports car. You understand how the world works?

> Let’s look realistic. Comedy is a dead genre, but tragedy is funny!

>The Apocalypse is Coming! I always knew that I would have a hand in this..

>I hate these nerds! Just because I’m dumber than them, they think they’re smarter than me!

> Many people called me stupid, but I proved it to them..

> Goodbye, cruel world… Goodbye, cruel lamp… Goodbye, cruel curtains!

>Whatever it is, I’ve always dreamed of this thing.

>I don’t understand evolution and need to protect my children from understanding it!

>I wouldn’t want to be where I am.

>I want to live! I haven’t stolen much yet!

> I like that there all people were equal, whether they were white, black, aliens or even women.

> Good news, bad news on TV.

>I’m not so famous that I can crush people with impunity.

>Something is stuck inside her, and he’s just an idiot. Lovers are all like that.

> I admire what you did today, and I’m terribly ashamed that I insulted your intelligence, your little tiny mind… oh, well, I called you again, dumbass… oops, I meant stupid..

> Anything other than immortality is a waste of time.

>Not all children are like their parents. Look at me! My ancestors were honest, hardworking people..

>You can’t lie in bed like a vegetable for the rest of your life. I tried, bedsores hurt.

>You two make me ashamed to be called an idiot!

>I like you, kid. Your miserable life makes me happy.

>It’s nice to see your entire life’s achievements put into a three-minute film.

> Even though you are a piece of meat, you are my favorite piece of meat..

>Compare your life to mine and then kill yourself!

> My colleagues are monsters, it’s not for me to question the wisdom of your idiotic civilization based on its stupid customs..

> Let me kiss you… uh… hug you… shake your hand… send you an SMS.

>I usually hide my sadness deep inside until it turns into mental illness.

>Well, Fry, it was nice meeting you. I’ll go kill myself.

>Higher nose, piece of meat!

> Interesting… although no, that’s not the right word… boring!

Cool phrases:

> Just look at this stone! I’ll slap him to the ring, and then Lila and I will dance the two-step horizontal Charleston of the newlyweds.

>Blackmail is a nasty word. I like "extortion", it sounds like music.

> It may happen that instead of Tuesday it will be Thursday, and instead of Wednesday it will be August, and instead of Thursday it will be the end of the world!

> One head is good, but with a body it’s better!

> I don’t understand why you won’t let me implant a laser weapon in your chest – you’ll kill everyone who disobeys you. Eh, but, probably, you and I are different people.

> I’m not sure if it’s a new series, or if I saw it drunk already.

>Business has declined, so you are all reclassified as slaves.

>You urbanites are probably hungry because of premarital sex and flag burning. Want to stay for dinner?

> To the rescue! To the rescue! I’m too lazy to save myself!

>Don’t hit me. I will betray anyone!

>I was always afraid that he would run away like that. Why!? Why didn’t I break his legs?!?

>You can tell I’m talking nonsense. But what kind!

>I hate those who love me, and those who love me hate me!

>If you’re not crying out of happiness, then stop.

> Although I am against the fur industry, I will skin you alive.

>And remember etiquette. Forks in the left pocket, knives in the right.

> Okay! I will build my own amusement park! With blackjack and whores! Although, to hell with Luna Park! Yeah! I’m even better than I thought!

> Okay! I’ll build my module! With blackjack and whores! Although, to hell with the module and blackjack!

> I’ve killed for a lot of things: jewelry, revenge, Papa O’Malley’s mower, but this is the first time I’ve found something worth dying for!

>I just saved a turtle. What did you do?

>Come on, universe, you stupid black hole! Give me your electricity!

>It turns out it’s not so easy to make someone cry!

>I don’t want to be saved! I gained wealth, fame and access to the depths of immorality that they entail.

> Yes, Bender is like that – he’s always happy..

> It’s the same as making love – left, down, 62 degree angle, turn on the rotor!

>Whores and fat men need bodies! And I need a wad of money and a head to hold it!

> I’m ready to put aside political squabbles to participate in hacking!

>Hey, give me a chance to save your honor and then sully it on the couch!

>If a robot wants to kill people, then he is a radical?

>Listen, brother, your wife kicked you out, and now nothing stops you from being an asshole!

>When I leave here I’ll do a memory enema.

>You’re on my list of people I won’t kill.

> Our love is no different from yours, except that it is cooler, because I am in it!

> Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… Oh! Sorry, habit.

>I finally found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!

> If I believed that after death another life awaits me, I would kill myself right now.